Skull & Bones

Guess how many times I called Poison Control during the time period of 1997 - 2007?

Nada. Not once.

And the number of times I have called Poison Control since Janie became mobile? THREE.

#1 Chewable Pepto-Bismol (Found Jane with 8 half-chewed tablets in her mouth. I never knew this was lethal to little kids until a 2AM google sent me straight to the phone) P.C. Solution? Turns out I called too late; if Janie had taken too many, she would have already been dead. She wasn't, so Poison Control sent me on my merry way, relieved and somewhat horrified.

#2 MaxForce Ant Bait Gel (Found Jane sucking on a tube of this insecticide. The box said it would take 2-3 days to kill an ant colony, so I was hoping we had a little time to correct this little error) P.C. Solution? Turns out that the homo sapien nervous system can tolerate this stuff better than ants. They said it was relatively harmless.

#3 Fluoride Pills (Found Jane with a spilled bottle of fluoride pills, about 3 in her mouth at the time. Wouldn't have worried me, except that I saw an episode of CSI where the lady killed herself by ingesting fluoride in a tube of toothpaste. Turns out fluoride is also super-lethal---THAT'S why you spit the toothpaste out in the sink. If you take too much, by the time bad symptoms show up, your Krebs Cycle has already shut down and you're in big trouble) P.C. Solution? Watch for vomiting. If she didn't vomit within an hour, she didn't take enough to harm her. No vomit, and Janie was spared again.

Despite my best efforts, Janie keeps me hopping when it comes to lethal poisons. I really am quite aware of what's around my home, because of her history, but she keeps finding ways to climb to the highest cupboards, thwart locked cabinets, and discovering ill-gotten & inedible items. So I'll just keep my Poison Help Line Sticker handy for any future attempts at ingesting harmful substances and continue to comb my home for enticing (yet equally dangerous) items.

Poison Control
1-800-222-1222. Keep it close.